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The Struggle Is Real Originally Posted 3/12/16

January 17, 2018

Life on this side of heaven is a struggle. It seems we in our western society have believed a lie that once we become a Christian, all trouble and struggle are suppose to disappear. Not sure why we have bought into this since the Bible clearly states in John 16:33 “Here on earth you will have many trails and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (NLT).
I grow weary of struggling. Not just with homosexuality but life in general. The other day I was listening to Kim Boyce’s song “Here.” In the lyrics she sings “I’m tired of being strong but I’ll keep holding on…” I can so relate to these lyrics. I completely understand why so many give up the fight and go back to their sinful lives or choose to attend churches that don’t preach truth. It is not easy to fight our flesh and war against our culture. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not alone but that we all have struggles to overcome in this life.
I am trying to make a conscience effort to work myself. I want to have victory in all areas of my life. I don’t want to come to the end, one day and still have so little self control. I have been asking the Lord what is the answer to struggling with sin in this fallen world? These were His responses:
1. Living a surrendered life
2. Picking up my cross daily
3. Choosing to die to my flesh
4. Taking every thought captive.
For too long I have not taken every thought captive and submitted it to the Lord and asked him to wash my mind. In this life temptation is all around. I have started making a conscience effort to die to my flesh and to not entertain impure thoughts. This has proven much more difficult and painful then I thought possible. I am learning how important it is to guard my eyes and mind. Once the wave of lust and temptation come crashing down, it is very hard not to be dragged out to sea. I need to constantly be on my guard.
I realized recently that I used to pray the armor of God every day when I would get up. I have all too often let that slip out of my daily routine. I’m working at not growing weary in doing good. I’m reminding myself that there is a reward at the end of this life if I don’t give up.
Shawn McDonald’s song “Take This Life” has been such an encouragement to me ever since his first album, “Simply Nothing,” was released in 2004. It is essentially meaningful now. It has become a prayer for me. I also call it my life song. I have included a video in this blog so you can hear the song. Here are the lyrics:
As I’m standing here, staring into the mirror
See the figure of a man trying to take a stand
And live for something more
Integrity is what I need and honor to my soul I feed
To give it up, pack it in, getting rid of all my sin that’s weighing me down
Won’t You come and fill
I want You to come and make me more real
Take this life, won’t You change this life
Come and make me whole
Won’t You take this life, won’t You change this life
Come and make me whole
In my pursuit of what is real
My heart is longing with a need to feel my soul come alive
I trudge and I step through the height and the death
Of a long narrow as I’m growing old
And soon I will be home
Won’t You come and fill
I want You to come and make me more real
I was reflecting today on why I still entertain the desire to give into my sexual temptations. Steadily trying to seduce my heart. In times of strength, I’m thankful that my sexual experimentation has been very limited. In times of weakness and temptation, I still entertain the thoughts that maybe I should just try give into it for a while. I mean after all, God will still be here loving me and forgiving me through it all right? In my limited experience I know it doesn’t bring the happiness that it promises. In the end, after the wave of passion had passed I was left alone and full of shame. I know know this and yet the lie that it is what I need is still so strong. I have had a hard time fully closing the door on this. As I pondered this today, what struck me is this lie of the devil is not new. He has used it all through the Bible and in every persons life from the beginning of time. It is what caused Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. It is the lie that God doesn’t fully have our best interest at heart and that he is trying to keep good things from us. And yet when I read the scripture, the Love of God and His care for us is revealed so strongly.
In Amy Grant’s song “Faithless Heart,” from the album “Lead Me On,” she talks about these fantasies that we sometimes entertain.
In January through March, I was part of WinterJam. While I was on that tour, I was sensing that I wanted to come off the road and get plugged into a church. Next year, I will have been on the road for 10 years. I have loved it but I have neglected my spiritual life. It is hard to maintain a spiritual life on the road especially when you are working on Sundays. It isn’t impossible but it makes it a lot more challenging. I miss being a part of a small group and a church but I didn’t have any at the time to get involved in. The one church I love is 45 minutes 1 way. Too far for me to go.
I had 1 show the whole month of July so I was able to get involved in the new Vineyard church plant in Nashville. I grew up in the Vineyard and have attended one off and on when I could around the country and world. God is doing some amazing things in the Vineyard and I am so excited. I have gotten plugged into the church and a small group. I will be leading a small group coming up here in the next month or two. God has been maturing me on so many levels. It is hard to put into words. I am seriously contemplating coming off the road to be involved with this church. Not sure what that will look like or if God has another job for me that will allow me to be involved with the church but I am super excited for what God has in store and the future of this church.
For some time, the Pastor has felt the Lord saying that our church will be a church that has the gift of healing on it. The Bible says that everyone can have the gift of healing! John 14:12 says “I Tell You The Truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.”
Why don’t we see more miracles in our life time if Jesus said this? I can’t speak for others but I can say for myself, that I have been scared that nothing will happen and I will be left looking like a fool. Our church is offering the School Of Kingdom Ministries, which I plan on taking. It will teach us about operating in the gifts of the spirit! We will also be going out on the street and practicing hearings and words of knowledge, etc. I am super scary but excited to see Jesus show up!
We haven’t even started the class yet and I received a miracle! I was having some back pain and my small group circled around me to pray. I felt a tingling sensation in my right leg but never mentioned it since they were praying for my back. My pastor asked if there was something wrong with my right leg and I said no. Then he asked it one leg was shorter then the other. I said yes. They had me sit with my legs stretched out and you could see one slightly shorter then the other. They began to pray that God would stretch it to the length of the left leg. In a split second it was shorter and then it was the same length. They filmed it but it was dark and you couldn’t see it happen. I have attached the video of the responses of everyone. I am so humbled that God would do this for me! All praise and honor belong to the Lord. I can’t wait to get out there and start praying for others!

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A Lesson in Patience Originally Posted 10/13/15

January 17, 2018

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It seems to me that in our Western culture, there is this unspoken expectation that we have to live up to a standard of perfection.  If we don’t demonstrate this in our lives, then we are bad publicity for the Kingdom of God.
The problem is that we all deal with sin. It is part of living in this fallen world. Hebrews 4:15 assures us that Lord knows & understands this so why do we fall into this trap? Why can’t we be open and honest and live a transparent and vulnerable life? The church should be the one place were we can let down our guard and be real.
In Bob Davis’ book “Coming Out Of Homosexuality”, he says that in AA people end up getting better and overcoming their addictions because to be part of AA you have to admit you have a problem. I’ve heard it said that the Christian life should be called SA or sinners anonymous since we are all trying to get over something. But in the Church, it’s easy to wear masks and act like we have it all together. In doing so, we hinder growth and we get worse. The world sees right through our masks.
Over the years I have really wrestled with all this. Why do I still struggle with sin? Why haven’t I arrived? My Mom helped me to realize that this life is a process. We can’t expect that just because we have become Christians that God will wave a magic wand and we are instantly sin free. If you have a baby, would you expect that baby to be able to do what a 5 year old child can do? All the prayer in the world will not make that baby instantly become a 5 year old. So why are we so impatient with our healing and sanctification process? It could be that we need to slow down and stay in the moment and allow the Lord to daily teach us.
There are two songs that have really encouraged me to take a step back and be patient in the process. In the song “Seasons Of The Soul” by Jamie Owens-Collins, she sings:
“A season in the rain will end at last, a season full of pain will surely pass, the reason will be plain someday when love reveals it’s plan, such are the seasons of the soul.”
The second song is “Your Father” by Annie Herring (from the group The 2nd Chapter Of Acts). In the song Annie sings “Our Father (God) loves to watch us grow”.
The other big influence for me in learning to slow down in the process was from the life of Corrie ten Boom. She used an illustration of a weaving (see the photos attached at the bottom of this blog) to show the process of our lives. We love to look at the beautiful tapestry but often forget to see the under side with all it’s tangles and knots. She recited this poem:
My Life is but a weaving between my God & me;
I cannot choose the colors, He wealth steadily.
Oft’ times He wealth sorrow;
And I in my foolish pride forget He sees the upper and I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and reveal the reasons why.
The dark threads are as needful in the weavers skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those who leave the choice to Him.
I hope that I have left you with a bit of encouragement. This life is not always easy but be we have a God who understands and longs to give us the strength we need for each day. Why not slow down and as to not miss the daily lessons.
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Bottom 2 photos courtesy of Christel Novella

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Hope For Wholeness Originally from 6/14/15

January 17, 2018

IMG_6128My good friend Christine Sneeringer (Executive Director for Worthy Creations), invited me to attend the Hope For Wholeness Conference with her in Asheville, NC this year. I had never been to an Exodus conference so this was my first official ex-gay conference. While I was at New Hope Ministries, we used to put on a family and friends conference every year but it was mostly attended by local people. Hope For Wholeness is one of the ministries that sprung up when Exodus closed it’s doors.
On Monday June 1st, I headed east to Asheville. Christine and I met up on Tuesday morning and headed north to Erwin, TN for some white water rafting. We went with USA Raft. The last time I went white water rafting was in my New Hope days in CA 10 plus years ago. The other group that shared our raft were also Christians and so we had a great day of fellowship on the water. I posted a number of photos from the trip on Facebook. View the album here. If you ever find yourself in the Erwin, TN area and would like to go white water rafting, I would highly recommend USA Raft.
The conference was held at Lifeway’s Ridgecrest Conference Center in Black Mountain just outside of Asheville. Wednesday was the Leadership conference and Thursday through Sunday was the main conference. Once they found out that I had experience selling merchandise, they asked me to help with the bookstore. As usual, I had a lot of fun.
Four guys from The Sight Ministry here in Nashville came to the conference. I knew that there used to be a support group in Nashville years ago but it was no longer active. I had never heard of The Sight Ministry before. They meet every Tuesday night. This week, I met with the director and am excited to start attending. The last time I was part of an ex-gay support group was 2007.
McKrae Game (the director of Hope For Wholeness) just wrote his first book “The Transparent Life”. It was literally hot off the presses just in time for the conference. I picked up a copy and can’t wait to start reading it. The conference was titled “Masterpieces In Process” but “The Transparent Life” in my opinion was the underlining theme. You can pick up a copy of McKrae’s book at the Hope For Wholeness bookstore.
Over all it was an enjoyable week. It went by super fast. I made a lot of great friends. There were some great break out sessions and main session speakers. I got to add my two cents to one of Christine’s break out sessions. The main thing that God keep telling me was that I need to work on my issue of fear. I don’t like driving places that I don’t know or have never been so even driving out to Asheville and back was way out of my comfort zone. It is so funny how I can make mountains out of mole hills. I’m sure none of you do that but I sure do.
A couple weeks before the conference, McKrae read my blog and asked me to share my testimony during the conference. I was honored by the opportunity. I wrote out word for word what I wanted to say and read it over and over tons of times to make sure I had it down. I was pretty nervous and had a couple sleepless nights before I shared. I was encouraged that I could recite 90% of what I wanted to say off it in my head. I shared on Thursday morning, at the beginning of the main conference. It was so good to get it done and out of the way. I have been humbled by the positive response that I received not only from the people that attended the conference but also from those who have watched the video on YouTube.  I have attached it to the bottom of this blog so you can watch it. It was a great opportunity and I hope to have the honor of doing more public speaking in the future.
Photo credit: Christel Novella

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Twilight: How I’m Like The Cullen Family

May 25, 2015

cullens1I never thought that I would enjoy the Twilight movies. One of my roommates had been trying to get me to watch them for some time and I finally got around to it. I have not read the books. We watched the whole series in a week. It surprised me that I actually really enjoyed them.

For those who haven’t read the books or watched the films, here is what you need to know for my blog to make any sense. It is the story of Bella Swon. Her parents have separated. After years of living with her Mother she moves up to Washington State to live with her father. At her new school she meets and falls for a guy named Edward Cullen. She discovers he is a vampire but is not afraid of him. She soon becomes friends with the Cullen family. The father figure is a Doctor and he and his family believe that killing humans and drinking their blood is wrong. They are considered “vegetarians” in the vampire world as they only drink the blood of animals. Not many vampire take the stance that the Cullen family have. Bella and Edward marry and he turns her into a vampire upon her request.

The thing I loved about this movie the first time around was how Bella immersed herself, as much as possible, in the Cullen family. They were a bit unsure at first as I’m sure no one had ever tried to befriend them on that level before. Bella won them over. It reminded me of when I was living in the Philippine Islands as a missionary. I had to immerse myself in the lifestyle and culture of the people to become one of them just like Bella did with the Cullen family.

Recently I decided to re-watch the saga. As I was watching it God showed me that I was somewhat like the Cullen Family. As vampires, their instinct is to drink the blood of humans. Most vampires didn’t think twice about this but the Cullen’s have chosen to go against their instincts and the rest of the vampire race and re-train themselves. With will power and the help of their family, they fight the urge to drink the blood of humans. There was a scene in the films when Bella cut herself and started to bleed and when she was having her baby and she bleed in front of the family. It clearly affected the newer members of the Cullen family. The older members had to get them out of the room and help them through the spell that had clearly taken them over.

Likewise I have chosen to deny the way I feel and what society is telling me and not give in to my homosexual desires. I have chosen to believe what the Bible has to say and with God’s help and my support system, I am learning to fight my sexual desires. I’m in the process of re-training my desires. Don’t be fooled, this is not an easy process but sanctification rarely is. I make lots of mistakes but God is faithful and gives me grace to walk it out. God never promised that it would be easy but He did promise that He would be there for me.

The Cullen Family were not born vampires but through situations in life they were turned. I believe it is the same for those in the LGBT community. We have a devil that is hell bent on destroying us and what God has made. I didn’t choose to my homosexual thoughts and feelings but I do have a choice. What matters is what I do with that choice. I can give into my desires and live for myself or I can choose to die to my flesh and live for God despite of how I feel. God does not promise to take away our sexual desires. After all He made us to be sexual creatures. We will always face temptation on this side of heaven. I can be doing well and then without warning I see someone or something and just like the Cullen family seeing Blood, temptation takes over and I can’t see straight. Learning to die to ourself is a hard processes especially if we are not used to keeping our minds and actions in check. We also need a loving support system of people that we can run to and confess our failure. People that will not judge but will encourage and support us. It doesn’t matter how many times we fall. What matters is we get back up and continue the fight. We may have to stay away from specific movies and books as they can flare up our sexual appetites. In today’s day and age it is almost impossible to stay away from temptation. It is all around. If we take in things that are impure, then our life will be impure but if we take in things that are pure then our life will be pure. The Bible says in Philippians 4:8 NLT:

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

God is not an angry tyrant waiting for us to make once false step so He can get us. He knows and loves us more than we can possibly understand. He came to earth to die a horrible death on a cross because He loves us. He is patient and kind. Hebrews 4:15 says He understands everything we feel and desire. He is not surprised by our temptations or failures. He knows what is in our hearts better than we know. My first instinct when I have given into my desires is to hide and try to clean myself up before coming to God. What I am learning is that I don’t have the ability to make myself clean. If I did, then He wouldn’t have had to come die on the cross. The Bible, in Hebrews 10:19, says that we can enter His courts with boldness. He loves us too much to leave us broken and wallowing in our own mess. He is the only one who can clean us up and make us new again. We need to run to Him so He can wash us.

In John Chapter 6: 47-58 after feeding the 5,000, Jesus tells the people that unless you feast on my flesh and drink my blood, you can not have eternal life. And later at the last supper He made a covenant with His people (us) and commanded that we take communion as a remembrance of what He did on the cross for us. Just like vampires we feast on His flesh and drink His Blood (Matthew 26:27-28) which he poured out for us.

I want to leave you with these lyrics from Pam Thum’s song “Will You Come To Jesusfrom the album “Faithful”:

Will you come to Jesus, will you open up your heart. Will you let his love surround you, you can come just as you are. You’ll find Peace forever and shelter in his arms. Will you come to Jesus with your heart.”

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The Willis Clan’s New Album “Heaven”

May 17, 2015

1483478_792635450823784_7460199499494476003_oMany of you have probably heard me talk about The Willis Clan before. For those of you who don’t know who they are, here is a brief summery about them.

They are a family band based just outside of Nashville, TN. There are 12 kids in the family but only 7 of the kids are in the band. They have been called the modern day Von Trapp family. They are all very talented. They write all their own music and older kids teach the younger kids the over 80 musical instruments in their house. They are homeschooled as well. The boys have been taught to wrestle and complete as their father was a wrestler in his youth. They are also award winning dancers and have competed across the country. These days they focus more on their music. They are regular guests at the Grand Ole Opry and have competed on The Voice. They currently have their own show “The Willis Family” on TLC. Catch their show on Tuesdays nights at 10 PM (9 PM central).

I discovered them about 3 years ago, when I found their first CD at a local music store. I love Celtic music and the Celtic cross, on the front cover, caught my eye. I decided to give it a try. It was one of the best purchases I have ever made. I fell in love with their music from the moment I first listened to them. I have eagerly purchased each of there CD’s as they have become available. This new one is no exception. Monday, they are set to release their brand new album “Heaven” on iTunes. It’s not too late to pre-order your copy today.

I had the privileged of attending their album release party down town Nashville last Monday (May 11th). It was a lot of fun. TLC was there filming for the TV show so keep a close eye out on the episode that features the release party. You may find me in the crowd. I was the only one that had on a Willis Clan T-shirt. I have only had the opportunity to see them once before. It was last year at a park in Ashland City, TN near where they live (see photo below). If you get an opportunity to see them live, I would highly recommend it. This is not something you want to pass up. They put on a very entertaining show.

I would call The Willis Clan a Celtic band. Their first album “Chapter One: Roots” is considered traditional Irish music. Their second album “Chapter Two: Boots” is mixture between Celtic and Bluegrass music. Funny how close the two intertwine. Their third and latest album “Heaven” is considered Celtic Pop. It is another amazing collection of songs. I have enjoyed all their albums and this one is no exception. They have earned their right to be in my top 5 favorites.

My all time favorite song from The Willis Clan is “Fair Weather Love” written by Jessica Willis who is also the lead singer for the band. This song first appeared on their second album “Chapter Two: Boots”. They cut a newer version for the album “Heaven”. Both versions are amazing. My favorite song from “Heaven” is “Bitter Cold”.

They are currently working on a music video for their new song “City That I’m Looking For” which will hopefully be out soon. Keep an eye out for that.

I have an older stereo in my car and I can not plug in my iPod. So I like to make collection CDs, that I keep in my car, for my favorite musicians and groups. Here is the list of songs that I choose for The Willis Clan CD. It was hard to narrow down the final list as they have so many amazing songs to choose from. I have listed the song title and which album the song can be found on. Consider purchasing their music library and support this amazing band. Go to iTunes to hear the sound clips for these songs.

  1. The Traveling Song from Chapter One: Roots
  2. What Can I Say from Chapter Two: Boots
  3. Chasing Love from Heaven
  4. Lonely Castle William Set from Chapter One: Roots
  5. Slow Me Down from Chapter Two: Boots
  6. Now or Never from Heaven
  7. Jack B from Chapter One: Roots
  8. Fair Weather Love from Chapter Two: Boots
  9. Carried Away from Heaven
  10. The Rambler from Chapter One: Roots
  11. Since I Left Home from Chapter Two: Boots
  12. Ship On The Line from Chapter One: Roots
  13. Come With Me from Heaven
  14. Lottie Lies Among The Flowers from Chapter One: Roots
  15. Sadie from Chapter Two: Boots
  16. Bitter Cold from Heaven
  17. The Wounded Crow from Chapter One: Roots
  18. Heaven from Heaven

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Transgender

January 19, 2015

scan0176I know I said that the last post was my last but with a rise in posts over the suicide of Leelah Alcorn, I wanted to address this issue.

Over the last couple months, I have seen a rise in comments and stories about transgender.

Recently a boy, Leelah Alcorn, committed suicide because his “Christian” parents would not accept him as a girl. There was an article that attacked Christians for not accepting transgender as a legitimate identity insisting that if Christians do not accept this mindset, they should no longer be allowed to be parents. Everything I read suggested that these parents were loving and accepting but could not accept their son’s transgender feelings.

Recently I heard that transgenders are being allowed to use the bathrooms of their choice. So, where does it stop? What is to stop a pedophile from going into a bathroom by saying that they’re transgender?

Our society is well on the road to accepting the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) community as an identity that can’t be changed. We are told to embrace it.

What is the next fight? Will we have pedophiles peeking through the curtain? NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association) has been fighting to get the age of legal sex dropped for years. They will claim the same thing. “I was born this way and I can’t change.” How long before society starts accepting that? Some say it will never happen but that’s what was said about the LGBT community 20 to 30 years ago. Our society is on slippery slope that will not be easy to get off of.

What doesn’t make sense to me is why a loving God would make a boy and put him in a girls body or make a girl and put her in a boys body. God says that He is love. He even came down and died a brutal death so we could be free. We need to also remember that there is a devil out there that is hell bent on destroying anyone and everyone he can.

I do not profess to be an expert on this subject nor do I have all the answers. I have a lot of love and compassion for the sexually broken. What I have to say is based from my own story…the things that I have learned and come to understand. Some may disagree but it is clear to me that the root of the transgender issue is that their masculinity or femininity most likely was not affirmed. I can’t say that this is the case for everyone but it certainly was in my life.

As a child, I dealt with gender confusion. I never really fit in with guys and had an easier time fitting in with girls. I can remember being in elementary school wishing I were a girl. Most of my parent’s friends, who had kids my age, were girls. I used to dress up in dresses and play with dolls. My Mom allowed it for a time as she said it is somewhat normal for boys to be curious about such things, but once she realized it was more then just normal curiosity, she encouraged other forms of playing that didn’t involve dresses and dolls. I am in the picture on the back row, all the way to the left. I am wearing a dress in this photo.

As I got older and hit puberty, the attraction to men started. I remember feeling like I was sitting on a fence with a leg on the male side and a leg on the female side and not really belonging anywhere. That is a scary place to be. It made me an easy target especially in junior high school. Jesus has healed much of my heart from the ridicule that I endured from kids at school and youth group.

After graduating high school, I became a missionary in the Philippines with Youth With A Mission. While in their Discipleship Training School, I remember opening up about my struggle to one of our speakers who prayed for me. There isn’t a defining moment that I can pin point to say it was on that day, but God helped me off that fence and I have not returned.

I believe that my gender confusion was in part, if not all, due to the fact that I didn’t really bond with my Dad. From my recollection, he was emotionally absent. He has told me that he was never comfortable with the girly things I did as a kid. I must point out here that we did have some wonderful times together.

When I was in the ex-gay live in program, the Lord showed me that I had put up a fence around my Mom, but I had shut my Dad outside the fence. God showed me through this vision that I had rejected my masculinity. I still don’t know what the events are that led me to that decision. I may never know. My healing and growth process has not been easy but whose is?

I had actually forgotten about this part of my testimony until a couple of months ago when God reminded me of it. I guess since I haven’t dealt with it in so long, I forgot it is a vital part of my story.

I do not believe it is healthy for parents to accept this behavior and act like nothing is wrong. My life is proof that one can be healed. I realize that this is a very delicate situation and needs to be handled with much love, understanding and prayer. I’m so thankful my Mom didn’t leave me to my tendencies and push me to embrace them.
We don’t have to stay stuck. God can take our life and change it around to something beautiful. We just have to let him. It is not an easy process but it is worth fighting for!

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart and thoughts. So many are sharing and speaking about these issues who don’t have a horse in the race. Since I do, I have been wanting to share my perspective. Thanks for all the love on both sides of the issue. To think that someone could be blessed by something that has been a source of embarrassment and shame my whole life. Only God can do that.

Thank you Jerry Bryant for editing all these posts for me. This is the 5th post in this series.

 

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Common Mistakes Christians Make When Talking To Gay People

January 16, 2015

1910563_42399720812_4089_nFor my last post in this series of posts, I wanted to talk about some of the mistakes Christians make when talking to Gay people or anybody for that matter who is not saved.
Jesus said in John 13:35 that the world will know we are Christians by our love for one another. Today it seems that the world knows we are Christians by what we stand against, so it’s no surprise why no one wants be a Christian anymore. Some Christians are seriously misrepresenting God in the world today. People already feel like God is only a tyrant who wants to make our lives miserable, but we need to show them the truth. I’m not saying you can’t have an opinion or stand up for our beliefs. What I am saying is we need to be showing more love, because right now most people only see anger, hatred & judgment.
Some Christians seem to feel that they need to share their view that homosexuality is a sin whenever they meet or are talking to gay people. Here’s a tip. The moment you say you are a Christian, they’ll know how you feel about homosexuality. You don’t need to say it. What they really want to know is if you take the Bible seriously and if you will love them. Many gay people have only known rejection when it comes to Church.
Some Christians feel like they are compromising or condoning gay people’s lifestyle if they don’t say anything about it. Even I have had to fight that feeling at times. We’re making the classic mistake of trying to win an argument of who is right and who is wrong, rather then loving the person. That persons sex life is really none of anybody’s business. It is between them and Go and it is our place to love them and show them how much God loves them. No one wants their “sin” thrown in their faces. No one. I seriously doubt that has ever brought about any fruit. What that actually does is lets that person know to never discuss anything that with you again.
Once I was talking to a guy that I had just met and I am not sure how it came up, but I ended up telling him that I lived with 2 women. He immediately assumed that I was having a sexual relationship with them and proceeded to point out the error of my ways. I was pretty upset because it was none of his business and he didn’t have all the facts.
Here’s another tip. You have to earn the persons respect before you have the right to speak into their life. They need to know you are a safe person that they can open up to and that you won’t judge them.
I have some openly gay friends that know my stance and I know theirs. We don’t agree on the issue but we are able to remain friends because of our mutual love and respect for one another. From time to time we talk about it but it doesn’t cause an issue. I pray that God will show them to truth. If I’m constantly pointing out that I think they are living in sin, that door will close.
In all our relationships, we need to pray for people and allow God to bring the revelation. Only God can change their heart and life and when that moment comes, they will remember you and remember that you didn’t judge them or condemn them. They may even come knocking because they saw your love and know you genuinely care for them.
We need to ask ourselves what is our motivation for sharing this stuff. If it is not out of love then you have no business doing it. If it is out of love, ask yourself how you would receive a word from someone if the tables were turned. Also ask God to open their hearts and let you know when the time is right to speak into their lives. It is about mutual love and respect. Also be open. I have learned some lessons myself from some of my non Christian friends & family.
I say that this is my last post in this series but I actually have one more so stay tuned.