My Beliefs

January 2, 2015

1654188_10152655529910813_3629451271479439721_nI get a lot of questions and comments from people when they learn my story so I thought I would share here with you what I believe for anyone who cares to read.
I realize that many people don’t understand me or the stance I take. They don’t understand why I have chosen an ex-gay life. I thought I would take some time to layout my belief system and why I believe what I do.
First off, you need to know that I believe in the Bible. I believe that it is the inspired word of God. Some people believe that it was written for a specific time and place. I do not believe this. I believe that it is still relevant and applicable today.
There are things that I don’t always understand and grey areas, which is why there is so much controversy over many issues. I believe in Jesus, that he is the Son of God and I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe that God is Love and that His commands were put into place to help us and not harm us.
Growing up in a church in America, I was that taught the importance of obeying God’s and his commands and was encouraged to have a personal relationship with God. I believe that this comes through a personal relationship with God and that we are saved. I don’t believe that we can save ourselves because if we could, there would have been no reason for Him to come die on the cross. I am completely dependent on Him. Without Him, I would live to gratify sinful desires.
I also believe there is a devil and he is hell bent on destroying my relationship with God. If you don’t believe this, then we will most likely not see eye to eye and you may not want to continue reading. Honestly, I’ve always had a close connection with God and have had some amazing experiences that have sustained me through much of my life.
I also have same sex attractions. I never chose to feel this way but for whatever reason (I do not know what caused this) it has happened. I don’t believe that I was born gay. Even as a kid that idea didn’t make sense to me.
In Genesis, the Bible says that everything God made was good. Starting in Leviticus, God has not been shy in His disapproval of homosexuality. So if all of what God made was good, then how come He condemns homosexuality?
What this tells me is that He didn’t make it and if He didn’t make it, then we are not born gay. Look at our bodies. It is plainly obvious that even the design of our bodies was made for 1 male & 1 female.
Why would God make us gay and then condemn us for it? It makes no sense. If you study the Bible and see the depth of His love, you would see this goes against His very character.
So what causes homosexuality? I don’t have any answers to this. I don’t believe anyone does. The only factor that I see is that most (not all) gay people have in common is that they were molested or abused when they were children. This is not the cause of homosexuality but it is a very common trait. It certainly doesn’t help the situation, especially if one is dealing with gender confusion.
I don’t know if I was ever molested. I have no memory of it. I believe that circumstances and things happen that make people vulnerable to certain things. Also, the devil is great at exploiting things.
I do not believe there is a gay gene or that there is a demon of homosexuality that I have been stricken by. Everyone has an issue that they deal with and so I don’t blame God for my issues. For me, if it weren’t homosexuality, it would be something else. It is part of life.
In the classic movie “The African Queen”, Katharine Hepburn has a line that I love. She says “Nature is what we are put in this world to overcome.”
No, I don’t believe God hates me because I am attracted to men. I believe that God loves and understands me. Hebrews 4:15 say that Jesus was tempted in all ways.
I don’t believe that because I am attracted to men that I am sinning. Again I never choose to be attracted to the same sex. Who would choose that? I believe that is why most people claim they were born gay. I believe the choice comes in when we choose either to give into to the temptation or choose to die to our fleshly desires and obey God. It is no different for straight guys. God has commanded that we save ourselves from sexual pleasure till marriage. Temptation and struggle it isn’t wrong. Everyone is tempted but it is a choice whether to act on it or wait.
In Matthew 16:24 Jesus told us to deny ourselves and follow Him. To give into my temptations and live a gay lifestyle would be the opposite of denying myself. It would be me gratifying my fleshly desires.
The gay community wants the world to believe that they are born gay so they don’t have to take responsibility for their actions. They may be fooling the world but God is not fooled. Like everything else, I believe that God can redeem us and change us so that we don’t have to be gay. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 says, “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive or cheat people-none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you have were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of God”.
To me the implication is clear. You were once like that, but not anymore, which shows change is possible.
I have hard all the arguments that the gay community has regarding the verses of the Bible on homosexuality and it doesn’t make sense to me. They say that God was talking about abusive or oppressive relationships and not about loving gay relationships. The Bible doesn’t actually say that. No matter what we do, we can’t justify our sin. It is dangerous live our life the way we want to on our terms and expect God to bless it.
Some say that it is unfair that a gay person has to give up their sexual desires to please God. It might be unfair but life is unfair. Couldn’t we also say that a diabetic’s life is unfair? They have to live a tedious life constantly checking their insulin levels. Not being able to eat whatever they want. They never asked for that or chose that life.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is just life. It is what we do with that life that matters. For me choosing to live a life by God’s word is the same. It is tedious at times but God gives us strength to do what is right.
What do we do then? What is the answer? Turn to Jesus who loves you and understands you more than you could possibly imagine. He can cleanse you and restore your relationship between you and God. He is not an angry tyrant waiting for you to do something wrong so he can punish you. He is a loving Father that longs to bless you and love you, if you will just open up to Him and give Him your life. His commands are to give you a better life, not to make you miserable.
We can never do it by ourselves alone. In my journey I had to get to the point where if my sexual desires never changed, I would be content. I deeply desire for Jesus to take away my attractions to men but if it doesn’t happen this side of heaven, then I am content in trusting Him. He knows what he is doing.
Recently God showed me that in accepting this, I have plateaued and stopped chasing after change. It was time for me to quit wasting time by continue to fight for change.
The verse in the Bible that I have always held on to has become my life verse. Philippians 1:6 “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”
That verse has brought me so much encouragement over the years.
I hope this helps you better understand what I believe and me. I am open to talking about any of this so if you have any questions, let me know.


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